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Articles: Portuguese School
Pete & Billy's Experience
Monday, 18 September, 2006
I had to take my 7 year old (8 in November) for his 1st morning in school today. He was a brave little soldier until we got into the classroom. I nearly brought him home with me as not a person in his school speaks English. I dont mind admitting I had a good cry when I got back to my apartment, wondering what the hell I had done. I was dreading picking him up at 12. Anyway, noon arrives and out of the classroom he pops full of smiles and half a dozen Portuguese kids say "boa tarde Billy". He was absolutely fine and even though he understands nobody he loved it.
Moral of that story I guess is, yes you will panic at first but don't get yourself worked as it might be a total waste of time. If you need any help at all please don't hesitate to get in touch. We have all been there.
Monday was not the best day in my life and probably one that will stick with me for a long time. It all started Sunday night, we had been out for a great meal in Monchique. When we got in Billy went to bed as normal but was a bit teary saying he didn't want to go. He eventually nodded off to sleep but I didn't as I was fearing the next day.
Billy woke up Monday and didn't really eat his brekkie which is most unlike him. He started to whinge a bit as we left home. We walked to school (15 mins stroll) and I tried to keep him occupied along the way. But he kept saying things like "This isn't a good idea Dad" and "I don't want to go, they don't understand me" etc, etc.
At the gates I decided to walk him into his class as he wouldn't leave me. I waited for his teacher to come as he wouldn't go into the class with the other kids. When she came I tried to walk away and he set off crying, so whe went to a receptionist who talks a little English. She asked me to leave which I tried but at this point he was lying on the floor in a heap crying and screaming "Dad, Dad, don't leave me" (not the best feeling in the world). I walked away anyway.
Walking home I was glad I had my sunglasses on so people couldn't see the tears rolling down my face. The whole day dragged as I wondered how he was. The only saving grace was that the phone didn't ring so he must have been OK.
I picked him up at 3.30 and was very nervous about how he would be and how much he might hate me for leaving him. He came out and seemed ok. The teacher had paired him with the only other English kid in the school to settle him down and this has seemed to help.
He went in a little reluctantly this morning but no tears at least. I did wonder on Friday and Monday if i had done the right thing in making him go to a PT school even thoughI have said previously that I knew the first 3-6 months would be hard.
After today I am convinced in time he will be ok. He now understands when the teachers tell the class to stand up - little things like that. He also loves school dinners. Soup to start, then a main meal followed by melon or some other fruit dessert which he just loves. He gets a bit lonely at lunch time as I think 90 mins is a little too long for somebody who has yet to make real friends.
For anybody else out there in the same situation, just make a big fuss of them and keep saying how proud you are of them coz believe me for an 8 year old who doesn't know the language it takes a lot of balls for both the parents and the kids. At least nowI have seen both sides of the coin. My little girl who is 4 is doing doing fine and doesnt have a care in the world, she loves the school she is at. If you have a young child and want to make the move in a few years, just have a think. Might be worth moving now and saving a bit of stress.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Well, its the end of the first week and I suppose it could have been worse. But it also could have been much much better. I guess I am a little angry with the school but then also a little angry with myself too for putting Billy in this situation.
The children have to buy their own meal tickets every Friday for the following week's meals. If parents were allowed inside the school gates I would help him do it. But I was only allowed in the school on his first day which was last Friday. As I am not allowed in I wrongly asumed they would help him do this as he has no idea where to go or what he is doing once there. When he finished school today he had no ticket so in theory he will not get fed at school next week, but trust me he WILL be fed as I will make sure of it. Getting angry now as they really should (in my eyes) have made sure he was ok, or at least get somebody to "buddy" him so that he was sorted for next week.
However, at the end of the day he is the first full English child to go to that school, his teacher speaks no English at all and for that I feel it may also be my fault for putting him in that situation. Maybe the school has no idea how to cope with him either. But I will be trying to speak to them on Monday to put in place a plan of action to see how they can help with the language and also with a kind of buddy system as it seems he gets a little left out at play times too. Rather than help him mix they feel sorry for him and dump him playing spider solitaire on a PC instead, for me this is not the right way to go.
He still cries every morning when I take him to the gates and this too makes me a little angry as well as sad. I am obviously sad for him as I can see how upset he is. However I then get frustrated as he is upsetting me and his Mum, sounds silly I know. It's just sometimes I think maybe, just maybe they milk it a little bit more than they have to for the sympathy.
He has a friend who plays with him at break times as he speaks English which helps but if he cant find this kid or he is in a game with others then it again makes him cry.
I speak to him very openly and its seems the 2 reasons he cries are
1) He doesn't like me leaving him at the gates.
2) he doesnt undetstand a thing when people speak to him.
I guess a few more little things will sneak out along the way but I am also confident we can make it to the end as one of the problems can be sorted. I can't really afford private after-school lessons but I guess I'll just have to find the money from somewhere.
Not really looking forward to Sunday night as I know he'll be worrying about school then. So I'll keep you posted on Monday night.
I think this sort of move is definitely for only certain kinds of people. Many people tend to move and just look at the sea, sand, and maybe a peaceful country basic life. However I have stated many times that I expect this phase to last at least six months. But even on that basis I still believe that with the right kind of TLC it is possible.
We have a good talk at the end of every school day and we have even had a good talk tonight about me going to see his teacher on Monday. Some might say he isn't old enough to be having these type of conversations but I disagree. As long as the conversations are constructive and put forward so that the child involved understands what you say and also understands that no pressure is being added then it can only be a good thing. I also think it brings us closer too.
I point out the good things to outweigh the bad things. For example, back in England I would be working 7am until at least 7pm or even later. Sometimes I didn't even make it home. Yet nowadays he finishes school at 3.30 and its me who picks him up. By 4pm I am either in the pool playing with him and his sister, or at the beach. That just wouldn't have happened back in the UK.
I can see both sides in this case. My wife has said many times that she is glad I took him in on his first day as she would have brought him home. I very nearly did myself. However, I am convinced that years down the line when maturity takes over he will thank us for being able to understand what people are saying when they don't expect him to have a clue.
Many thanks to Pete (aka Diskwizz) for allowing us to reproduce his original posts on Expats Forum
Pete and his family own Dina's Bar in Praia Da Rocha, Algarve.
www.nuttersinportugal.co.uk
www.expatsportugal.com
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